Longing for the Glory Days of Spain.

Near as I can tell, supporters of the Republican Party have never been as zealous as the House leadership about making Obama a one-term president. I suspect their goal is more along the lines of maintaining control of the House, snapping up the Senate and keeping Obama in check through a second term—then pulling out their big guns in 2016, when the Dems have to start over again.

I believe this is why we still have Mitt Romney in the running: it was his turn, but moreover, he could finance his own campaign without much help from them. That would leave them a much fatter war chest for Congressional contests.

It would have worked, had it not been for the branch of the party that still longs for the glory days of Spain. Led by a self-styled "saintly" figure (whose family name translates as "holy"), evangelical Christian fanatics inside the United States imagine that our Founding Fathers were as filled with Christian fervor as they are. They hold that the founders really intended the First Amendment to protect their religion—and theirs alone—from government intrusion, but of course, not the other way around. Theirs is a Holy War, fought to rid the land of the Unfaithful and the Unclean. Armed with their perverted view of the American Dream, they march onward through the primary season, transforming the Faithful into delegates.

In pursuing their Dominionist Theology with abandon, the Holy Warriors have created a lose-lose situation for the Republican Party. If the party continues to back Mitt Romney and he manages to garner sufficient delegates to "sew up" their convention, they may have to pitch in to a far greater extent than originally anticipated to get him through the general election. Wealthy as he may be, Romney has gobbled up untold resources in his attempt to vanquish the assorted gremlins nipping at his heels, none more than the Friend of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.

On the other hand, if there are a sufficient number of Crusaders to elevate their leader to Holy Nominee, any funds contributed to the general election by the Party would likely find their way down a black hole. Even if a White Knight were to show up in time for a brokered convention, he would by necessity drain the Party's war chest just to gain name recognition. In either case, the party would stand to suffer a crushing defeat, both in their quest for the White House and for the Congress.

I never thought I'd pity Republicans, but I actually do. By extension, I feel sorry for the whole country. Poisoned by an over-abundance of loose change, our entire political system is descending into the Netherworld.

Nonetheless, the Truly Faithful cling to a ray of hope: that divine forces intervene and the Holy Inquisitors prevail. In that event, I'm packing up and expatriating, and I strongly urge my fellow Jews (along with Moslems, Waldensians, Hussites, Lollardries and other heretics) to do the same.